CAT SERVICES
Cat services, minus the chaos.
Cats are not small dogs, and around here they are never treated like it. The van slows all the way down for feline royalty: one cat at a time, calm, quiet, and right at your door — no barking waiting room, no assembly line, no drama. Everything below is bath-free, haircut-free pampering: nails, beans, floof, and dignity, all handled with the reverence your cat already assumes is happening.
Book the Cat Spa PackageCall or Text · 720-300-6414
One cat at a time · No water, no haircuts · Nervous cats welcome · At your door in Broomfield & beyond
THE ONE AND ONLY CAT OFFERING
The Cat Spa Package (No Water, No Haircuts, No Drama)
$130
One flat package, everything your cat actually needs, nothing your cat would file a formal complaint about. Your cat sets the pace; I follow the pace. Slow blinks are accepted as payment in spirit only — actual payment is $130.
WHAT'S INCLUDED
- Nails clipped
- Toe beans shaved— Paw-pad tidy, beans fully admired
- Floof brushed out— Shedding undercoat included — the tumbleweed harvest is real
- Cat-safe products— Anti-static dander spray & no-water foam shampoo
- Sanitary / belly shaveINCLUDED
- Small mats spot-shavedINCLUDED
Book the package onlineText Me · 720-300-6414
What I don't do (a love letter to boundaries)
I know my lane, and my lane is glorious — but it has edges. Here's what's permanently off the menu, so nobody's cat ends up starring in a makeover nobody asked for:
What I do do: spot-shaves, sanitary shaves, and tidy-ups — the respectful edits. Your cat's dignity leaves fully intact, which is more than most of us can say after a salon visit.
GOOD TO KNOW
Before a first cat appointment, I'll ask for current rabies and FVRCP vaccine records — have them handy and we're off to the races (the slow, dignified, feline races).
Appointments are one-on-one in the van, parked at your home — your cat never shares the space, the spotlight, or my attention with another pet.
Nervous cats are welcome. The whole setup is built to be low-stress: quiet van, gentle hands, no rushing, and zero judgement for hiding under the couch for the first ten minutes. We've all been there.
On handling & temperament: Nervous, shy, and hide-under-the-couch cats are welcome here — the van goes quiet, slow, and entirely at your cat's pace. A little spice is fine; I work with it, never against it. But I groom solo, one pair of hands, no backup dancers — so a cat who truly wants to fight, or who needs sedation or a second handler to be handled safely, is a kind and honest no. I'm not interested in dancing with the devil, and your cat shouldn't have to either. When in doubt, text first and we'll talk it through like reasonable humans (the cat's opinion will also be considered).
GOOD QUESTIONS
The things cat people actually ask — answered plainly, with only mild feline-supremacy detours.
Will my cat be around dogs?
No — one pet at a time in the van, always. Your cat gets the whole van, the whole appointment, and my whole attention. No dogs, no audience, no witnesses.
Can you shave my cat into a lion?
No — see the no-haircuts card above. Spot-shaves for small mats and sanitary/belly shaves only. Your cat's mane, dignity, and general lion energy remain entirely their own.
How do I book a cat?
Book the Cat Spa Package online, or text me at 720-300-6414. Baths are by consultation only — text first, send photos, and I'll make the call.
Your cat's spa day (no water was harmed in the making of this appointment).
Book the Cat Spa Package online in two minutes, or text me at (720) 300-6414. Your cat will pretend not to care, and then strut around the house for a week. You know how this goes.